Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
That reminds me...we need to get swords
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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