And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
