I'm jealous of your bromance
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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