Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
