no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
