how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
