is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
