we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
