i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
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He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You dont lie about slip and slides
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
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After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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