At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
