I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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