theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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