so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
