also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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