it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
