Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
