im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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