hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Randomize
