Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
I understand Curling. That high.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.