Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
