in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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