Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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