This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
