evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Randomize
