"it" just moved
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize