She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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