The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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