Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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