What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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