So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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