cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
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