I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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