Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
