Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
