i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Can you repeat that, but with context?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
