thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
