I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
