Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
barbara walters just said penis...
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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