I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
