I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
