somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
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