But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
