your room smells of hookers.
And success
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
