For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
