Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
