I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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