if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
