You work out of a Hotel?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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