I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
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