just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize