tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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