So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
