Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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