he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
