youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
