so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
it's like heaven, but drunker
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
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