I got chris browned last night
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Just pee around me
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
