I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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