For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
