she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
