I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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