I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
