i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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