Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
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She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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